My story

Brittany Wood, Mrs. Lehi 2024

Grief is such an interesting experience. It truly comes in waves, and in moments you don’t expect. This January marked 13 years since my father took his life. It was a week before my 12th birthday, and a day I will never forget. I’d like to share a bit of my story with you to shine light on why I am so passionate about my cause, and to help others in similar situations feel less alone.

I grew up in a family with my father, mother, older sister, me, and two younger brothers. We were raised in a conservative, religious home, and I believe looked entirely normal to friends and neighbors.

Unfortunately, my father was physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive. He hurt my mom, me, and my siblings repeatedly, over several years. He had severe mental health issues that had worsened overtime and childhood trauma that he had not healed from, and was using prescription drugs, alcohol and other substances in damaging ways. He hid everything very well — he knew what he was doing was wrong, and isolated us from family and friends to prevent my mom from being able to leave or get help.

Growing up, I thought I had a fairly normal childhood, until my father passed away. I knew he hurt me and my family, that he “had a temper”, and I knew I was scared of him, but I didn't always know that he was abusive. I did not understand the full truth and I had nothing to compare it to, so I thought it was ‘normal’. But I learned quickly after my fathers death that my childhood was not normal, and that my fathers behavior was abusive. I think that is a common misconception about abuse. That is is ‘easy’ to spot abuse, and easy to know that to do about it. But in our home, there were good times. There were times we felt together and happy and loved. But those moments were quickly shadowed by emotional and physical abuse, from my fathers hands.

I also was very blessed to have my angel mother protecting myself and my siblings through it all, as best as she could. We all experienced the abuse, but she certainly took the majority of it and protected us as best she could. She also was the one who rescued us from that situation in the end. The bravery she had amazes me. I am incredibly grateful to her, and owe my entire life to her! Everything good that has come after leaving my father is due to my mother. So Mom, if you’re reading this — thank you. I love you.

It may seem so simple for those who are removed from the situation. “Just leave!”. But it’s not that simple. There are so many reasons why victims of abuse choose not to leave. Financial needs, fear of retaliation, fear of the unknown future, fear of being alone without support, unaware of resources, unsure of how to leave or where to go — the list is endless.

Though the abuse took place repeatedly over several years, it all came to a final breaking point one night in January of 2011. I’ve spoke about that day with my mother several times after the fact, and she said that she just knew that it was time to leave. The violence had reached a new level, and my mom knew that if we did not leave right then, we would not have made it out alive. That night will forever be one of the scariest moments of my life. There aren’t words to describe the gratitude I have for my mother getting us out. We left and made it to the safety of my grandparents house, and that night my father took his life. The abuse had ended, and the healing began. My mother chose to leave at the exact right time. I know full heartedly that she saved our lives.

After my fathers death, I have been able to learn so much more about what a safe, happy home looks like. My mom continued to raise my siblings and I by herself. She taught us what a loving home looks like, and I am now very blessed to have a family of my own with a husband who loves me with gentle hands and a kind voice.

Now in my adulthood with three children of my own, I am choosing to make a difference in my community and stand up for children without voices. I do not want to let my father have the ability to dictate my life and future. He controlled our lives for so many years and brought so much pain to our family. So I am taking the trauma he left me with and turning it into an opportunity to make a significant impact for others – Ending Domestic Violence and Child Abuse. He will no longer have the power over me — the cycle of abuse ends with me.

My journey to this platform is deeply personal. Having experienced domestic violence and abuse first hand in my childhood, I understand the profound effects these issues have on individuals and families. I am dedicated to using my voice and my role as Mrs. Lehi, and in the future as Mrs. Utah, to advocate for those who have been affected by such experiences and to actively work towards ending this cycle of violence.